All parents figure out sooner or later, preferably sooner, that it’s a juggling act to know when to be a parent and when to be a friend—when to be a disciplinarian and when to be supportive and encouraging. The most important part is to be in all these roles with love and know which hat to wear. Every household needs boundaries, and boundaries apply to pets, pet parents, and other extended family.
Being a pet parent is no different. Sometimes, we must step up and be the “IN CHARGE” parent. The word Alpha is not a word I use often, but that is the best way to describe how a successful relationship between humans and canines can live in social agreement. In a multi-species household, the human must be the Alpha for there to be order and enjoyable coexistence. If the pet parent is not in charge, the canine will assume the role, and chaos will follow.
Before I explain why I’m using the term Alpha, it’s important to understand that I’m not comparing the relationship between you and your dog to a male and female wolf and a wolf pack. That is a totally different scenario from what dogs were compared to a long time ago, and you will see that information on the internet. In this article, Alpha represents the image of the top dog, the leader, and the one in charge. That means you!
That said, only one of you can be in charge or be the Alpha, you or your dog. So, first, let’s take a better look at some recognizable physical signs and posturing during interactions between an Alpha Dog and lower-ranking pack members.
An Alpha dog will not be the one to break eye contact or look away—just the opposite. A subservient or submissive dog will turn its eyes and head away from an Alpha dog. This new wave of positive reinforcement encourages turning your back on your dog and/or not looking at him. So, are you the submissive one? If you turn away from your dog, the answer is a definite YES.
An Alpha dog will not hold his head lower than a lower-ranking pack member. He will not lie down or rollover. Do you ever wonder why small breed dogs like Chihuahuas get on the top of the back of your couch and bark? The reason is that the higher the dog’s head is, the more they perceive being in charge!
If you need to address your dog’s unwanted behavior, stand and look at him.
This brings me to the big question. Why do I see pet parents turn their back on their dogs? Is this an internet craze? Is it a new addition to positive reinforcement? Is this just the pet parent taking the path of least resistance? Whatever the reason for this absurd behavior on the part of the pet parent is, I know it is a lack of understanding of a different species. Pet parents ascribe human characteristics to their canine family members without considering how their dog can take advantage of and manipulate those actions to their benefit. The truth is that I would not turn my back on another human if I didn’t like what they were doing or saying to me.
One thing for sure is if I can’t see someone, how will I know what they will do next? Secondly, turning away makes me the weaker, submissive one. So, why would you turn your back on your dog? By doing so, you validate his role as the Alpha, top dog, and the one in charge of you! If you look away, turn your head away, or turn your back on your dog, you are not correcting your dog’s unwanted behavior. You can’t see what he is doing, and you can’t stop him from doing it again. You’re allowing your dog to choose what he does next. Most of all, you are REINFORCING NEGATIVE BEHAVIOUR!
