Many clients want to know if I think it’s OK for their dog to sleep on their bed. They are surprised to hear that I allow my dogs to do so. I love having them on my couch, watching TV, and sleeping on my bed. As a professional trainer, I offer the best advice possible, which includes all the pros and cons of whether or not you should allow your dog to do something.
The foundation of my answer to most questions about whether it’s OK or not OK for their dog to do something is always the same. So, remember this: I say it in every training session for every pet parent who requires my services. Dogs are very black and white. They don’t do well in the grey area. So, keep it simple. THEY CAN OR THEY CAN’T. IT IS OK, OR IT ISN’T OK. “Sometimes” doesn’t work well for a dog. That means thinking it through before you decide whether you want to let your dog do something in case there may be a chance you will change your mind down the road.
Let’s go back to letting your dog sleep in your bed. Once you decide to allow your dog to sleep in your bed, it is very disturbing to the dog if you change your mind and decide that you no longer want the dog in your bed, or some nights you do and some nights you don’t. Trying to keep your dog out of your bed or bedroom after an extended period can lead to many negative behaviors not previously displayed. Separation anxiety, barking, whining, urinating, defecating, chewing, digging, and scratching on the bedroom door can manifest as a result of taking away a privilege your dog has come to love and enjoy. At that point, he considers it part of his normal daily life. It’s not a pretty picture.
Either be sure about your decision that it’s OK or if you want to try the grey area, set up a “dress rehearsal,” which is one of my favorite ways to modify behavior. What does that mean? That means don’t wait until bedtime. When you have some free time, briefly allow the dog on the bed with you and then return the dog to their own bed in or outside the bedroom. Practice that for short periods of time a few times a day, and then extend the time on and off your bed. Give your dog precise and consistent commands to go to their bed or place and offer a new chew toy. This method takes a lot of patience and practice and is not always successful, but you have a greater chance of success with a puppy. Starting off in the right direction with training always works best.
If you are unsure whether to allow your dog to do something like sleeping on your bed or your couch because circumstances may change, it is much easier NOT to allow it until you are sure it is OK and then allow your dog to do it. It will not work out well if you say OK and then not OK.
Do you think these dogs in the photos are enjoying themselves? Would you want to tell them after always allowing them to be on the couch that they are no longer allowed to do so?
The same idea applies if you let your dog sit on the couch or even jump up on people, including you! Either it’s OK, or it’s not!
