Did you ever create a relationship that morphed into uncomfortable and suffocating? Did the love, fun, and caring start inching toward resentment and frustration? Remember that one day you felt like you needed to take a walk…by yourself…and breathe?
Is there nowhere you can be by yourself inside your own home and have a moment of peace and privacy?
It’s a pet parent complaint I hear more often than you would think. Has that adorable, sweet little angel puppy taken over your home, social life, couch, bedroom, dinner, and even phone time? Have you subconsciously created an emotionally and physically codependent monster? If you have become your dog’s entertainment committee, you need to find a way to help your dog be more independent and have self-esteem. Your dog should be able to entertain themselves when necessary.
Here’s what I see during a consultation: Alex, the pet parent, sits on the couch or a chair, and Nicky, the dog, jumps up onto Alex’s lap. Alex goes to the bathroom to shower, and Nicky cries and scratches at the door because Alex no longer wants Nicky in the bathroom or the bedroom. Sound familiar?
So yes, Alex and Nicky were together all the time. Recently, Alex has had a lifestyle change and cannot be with Nicky as much.
The result is that Alex feels suffocated and guilty for not spending every moment possible with Nicky. Nicky’s clingy “anxious attachment” has turned into “separation anxiety.”
The advice Alex was given by two canine professionals, was to put Nicky in a crate and let her cry it out. Alex said that Nicky would not stop crying after fifteen minutes, and it was cruel and not an option. The other piece of advice was to put Nicky on anxiety medications; another option Alex did not opt for.
Alex contacted me to schedule a consultation, evaluation, and demonstration. I could read between the lines of the information Alex sent about Nicky and immediately knew Alex was desperate to find someone to gently condition Nicky’s behavior to be more positive and help them to have a less demanding and more enjoyable relationship.
The foundation of the behavioral therapy I planned was teaching Nicky through association. Nicky was instructed to sit instead of jumping on Alex and, in return, received attention. By practicing this exercise in different scenarios, Nicky understood within ten minutes that sitting on the floor next to Alex, who sat on an ottoman, was quickly rewarded with love.
